Fear

Fear. A word so small yet has one of the biggest effects in our lives. The way we go about our days is practically shaped by fear and the things we miss out on to avoid fear. We make decisions in our lives trying to dodge the feeling of fear. Whether it's asking for a specials someone's number or missing a huge opportunity, it happens to us all. In the novel Native Son by Richard Wright , the main character Bigger lives in constant fear. Biggers everyday life is heavily influenced by the fear that has been put on him by society. The expectations and requirements forced into his life has had a huge impact on him. Being a colored person in this time period, it wasn't rare to see a black man living life trying to avoid trouble. Not only was it an issue back in the day, people around the world today still deal with racial consciousness. Its aware to Bigger that he is disadvantaged because of the color of his skin. For this his ignorance leads him to despise the white race. The author states, “ We live here and they live there. We black and they white. They got things and we ain't. They do things and we can't.” (24). Even though he despises the white race, there is an underlying admiration for them. He admires the freedom, money and opportunities they have. He knew if he was in their shoes he wouldn't have to worry about a thing even if it was just for a day.                                                                               

Bigger is a character that isn't meant to be favored however but he is. The dialect and realism Wright is able to display throughout book one about Biggers life makes the reader admire and pity him. He's a miserable man who lives in a one room apartment with his mother sister and younger brother. They are constantly on him about being the man of the house and to be a better person. His poverty stricken life has caused him to commit crimes in order to feel some sort of relief. Wright makes it clear that he wasn't always a violent individual. However his environment and lifestyle that has caused him to act foolishly. Society affects his everyday life and move and this eventually gets the best of biggers emotions.  

Coming up with ideas to escape his poverty stricken life is where most of the suspense is built. The events taking place makes it difficult for the reader to put the book down. The language and imagery used makes the reader feel like they are there at the moment. Especially when Bigger was stuffing Mary's body into the furnace. You could really feel the anxiety and fear of someone accidentally walking in and catching him in the act. The trembling of his hands and his nervous movements creeps through the words and becomes a movie in the reader's mind. It keeps the reader wondering whats bound to happen next and what will happen to Bigger.

A literary merit ?

          What is a literary merit? When first asked, I thought it was a student that was good at English until I searched it up. But, a literary merit to me is a work of literature where you can pull something from. A work of literature where it allows you to look deeper past the reading for hidden messages. Allows a reader to take something that could be so simple and find the deeper meaning to it. Like taking  away a new lesson or perspective from a simple reading. To college board asks students to write about literary merits because they are high quality pieces of works. The work of literature usually introduces you to something new, something exciting and deeper that most think. For some it may fly by their heads but for others it's something of value they may gain. They want students to take what they have gained from the work of literature and write about that in a well developed paper answering some sort of prompt. They want to test the ability of students and see how deep they may look into theme and repetitions and patterns in the work and see what they can pull from it.

The Kite Runner could be considered as a literary merit because the author was able to convey many different lessons and messages throughout the story. The Kite Runner was one of my favorite reads. It was one of the few books I've read in my life that kept me entertained from cover to cover. The book really opened up my eyes to the harsh reality that some people face in the world. Not everyone has it good and that can be portrayed through Hassan, the son of Amir's father's servant. Hassan had a kind heart yet was treated with disrespect and cruelty due to his background. I found it interesting on how being a certain type of Muslim was something you could be picked on about especially in a Muslim dominant country.You would think that in a Muslim dominant country, people would be more accepting of the religion and how each person worships it. Personally to me , I would think a common religion would bring people together, not separate them. The author did this to show how different life is in other countries. In America, people are usually very accepting of different cultures and religions. In other countries, their more religiously intolerant, even towards the people that share the same beliefs.

    I enjoyed how the author draws in a reader by starting with a flashback from his childhood. The reader could really be able to feel the emotion Amir as feeling looking back at his rough childhood. From the first few pages you are able to get a good insight on characteristic traits of the narrator and how he's going to battle replenishing his sins. The country of Afghanistan under goes war and the author uses descriptive language and imagery to make it feel like you're there at the time. Not all countries are safe like America and Amir, visiting both, can make the comparisons.

   I found it incredible on how many lessons the author was able to convey through the story. Its also surprising how were able to learn all these lessons from just one character alone. Amir, the main character shows the reader that if the slightest thing was different, you wouldn't be the person you are today. Things happen for a reason to teach you lessons in life and it's up to you whether you want to learn from those mistakes or continue to make them. Amir learns that betraying his friend was wrong but now that his friend is dead, he must make up for it by taking care of his friend's son.

I didn't end up highlighting or marking that many titles. Throughout high school, I never enjoyed  English and avoided reading at all costs.  I always considered English to be my least favorite subject because it never allowed me to be creative. I could never think outside the box with my work and was obligated to follow a system I hated. No creativity , no self expression , nothing to really show off my abilities.
I would always be in college prep or college prep advanced class until last year when I bumped up to honors. I enjoyed English last year because it was less stressful and we had more freedom to think outside the box with our work. We were given topics to write about and allowed to do what we wanted rather than be locked down on what the teacher wanted. I marked up around 7 to 8 titles. Some titles I was forced to read while others were more of a choice read. Freshmen year English was focused on poetry and plays by Shakespeare and other people. I remember reading Hamlet freshmen year however I don't remember what its completely about. However, I do remember reading Romeo and Juliet my sophomore year. We had to reenact the play in class to get a better understanding of what was happening. I also read Scarlet Letter my sophomore year and ended up writing my MCAS long composition on. Didn't enjoy the book but it was helpful when it came to answering the prompt.

I personally dont enjoy reading because I never can find myself indulged in a book. I find it difficult to focus while reading. My thoughts will travel and I'll get distracted and barely get anything done. Reading a book cant capture my attention as much as like a creative writing essay. If I do end up reading , its more to work on my skills and become a more advanced reader. One goal I have for myself this year is to become better at breaking apart my reading and paying attention to smaller details like themes, patterns, certain words and or repetitions. paying attention to smaller details will help me have a better understanding of what Im reading and what message the author may be trying to convey. Another goal I have for myself this year is to take my time on my assignment rather than rushing  through everything just to get it done, Ill spend my time more wisely and spend more time on my homework and assignments in general.